One-Punch Ma'am!
by Nohm the Inexorable
Summary: After a chance encounter involving bugs and judicious amounts of fire, Saitama finds herself becoming the mentor to a cyborg who takes things far too seriously for his own good. Can her sanity survive, or will Genos find out what it means to be on the receiving end of his new teacher's temper. Alternate Universe, genderswapped Saitama. Not a shipping.


Genos needed to end the fight _now_. In a mere matter of seconds the storm of mosquitoes had grown so dense that he could no longer see the monster that controlled them, and yet despite their numbers it continued to swell in size as even more of the bloodsucking insects answered her call. He hated to admit it but they were fairly evenly matched, and underestimating her had cost him an arm, even if he had taken her legs in exchange. If her strength truly came from the amount of blood she gathered, then he couldn't risk allowing her to get any stronger.

When the swarm shifted towards him again, Genos cut loose. The world around him dissolved into a sea of roaring flames and scorching heat under the onslaught, where not even the deafening sound of the swarm could be heard any longer. Second stretched on into what felt like minutes, and then it was over.

Soot fell from the sky like blackened snow as his arms vented steam and cooled. All around him smaller fires still burned amid the charred ruins, consuming what few flammable things survived his attack, their crackles mixing with the wind as the only sound in the area. Not a single mosquito remained in the sky.

Satisfied with the results, Genos turned his attention skyward to scan for the monster – then toppled as the world spun around him, his system suddenly blaring about trauma to his head.

"You utter moron!" The speaker, a distinctly human female with unruly black hair loomed over him the moment he hit the ground. Like a specter of death her skin smoked from what he could only assume to be the aftermath of his attack, but otherwise she appeared unharmed. _How is this possible? And where did she come from?_ He had purposefully scanned the area before engaging the mosquito monster, just to ensure no one got caught up in the crossfire. Did he somehow miss her? And… why was there a piece of metal wrapped around her like a towel?

With no concern for the situation or his internal confusion, the woman grabbed Genos by the shirt and hauled him to his feet and held him in place. "Listen you—" she paused as she looked him over, her eyes lingering on his missing arm, "— _whatever you are…_ I can't afford to just go out and buy new clothes every time some fire-happy idiot gets carried away. Do you get what I'm saying? So if you don't want me to rip off your other arm and beat you senseless with it, _watch – what – you – are – doing_. Understand?"

Genos nodded numbly, unsure what to make of the situation, of the woman whose words made him inexplicably nervous, when another voice cut in: "As much as I would _love_ to hang around and watch this little melodrama unfold, I have better things to do, so…" Before Genos could fully comprehend the words and their intent, the monster appeared in his peripheral vision, its blade-like claws already in mid-strike, carving through his chest like so much paper mache – then was gone in a thunderous crack.

Warnings and damage reports flooded in as Genos' system assessed the damage sustained in the attack, although he already had a good idea of the extent of it. His lower body had nearly been severed at the waist, rendering him unable to support his own weight, let alone stand. The only thing that kept him upright now was the woman, who had miraculously escaped unharmed. Stranger still was he had no recollection of her moving, yet now she held him with only one hand, the other roughly in the same place as where the monster's face had been just moments before, looking as if she had slapped it like… well, an _insect_.

Where did the monster go? And when did the woman move? Had he blacked out? … No, his memory showed no faults in it. Only a blur of what what he assumed to be movement and a spike in his sensory data that only made sense if they had glitched… or had been overloaded.

The woman wasn't paying any attention to him either, instead appearing to be fascinated with her free hand. Her expression struck him as being curiously disappointed, then sighed as she looked across the street. Following her gaze, Genos found the answer to his first question, but nowhere even close to how he expected it.

Several of the builds, which had been previously scorched to an ashen gray, were now painted in a deep crimson color in a roughly splatter-like pattern. Although no longer visibly recognizable, a quick scan confirmed it was all that remained of the monster. "Damned bugs. Never liked 'em," the woman muttered darkly.

Genos snapped his attention back to the woman. _Did she…?_ He couldn't believe his eyes, but there was no denying the evidence. The woman had somehow utterly _destroyed_ it. But how? As far as he could tell, she did nothing more than _slap_ it.

Before he could ponder the mystery further, Genos hit the ground in an unceremonious heap as the woman released him and began to walk away, muttering under her breath. Even if it seemed impossible… "Wait!" The woman paused, turning part way to look back at him. She didn't say a word, but from under her bangs he could see the warning glare from her eyes. "Please, tell me your name!"

"… Saitama."

"Saitama, please train me as your disciple!"

Her brow furrowed for a brief second before she rolled her eyes. "Whatever." Without another word she turned and left, eventually disappearing around a corner.

 _Saitama…_ Genos dedicated her name to memory. Once his repairs were complete, he _would_ find her again.

* * *

It took Genos the better part of two weeks, but his efforts finally resulted in success. To be honest, he had been on the verge of giving up hope at finding the mysterious Saitama again. Her nondescript looks presented an unanticipated challenge to the task, as had she not been talking to herself he would have never noticed her among the crowds.

But now he faced a new obstacle to overcome. He was not so naïve as to believe she had outright accepted his request during their last encounter. At best he could interpret Saitama's response as being open but otherwise noncommittal to the idea. If he wanted to secure his place as her student, he would need to careful in his approach. Although he could not help but wonder if she was already aware of his presence.

Today marked the fifth day of his observations. Five days of shadowing her across the city, studying her every move in search of clues to the source of her strength. And yet despite his best efforts he found nothing at all. She went about her daily life with little to no signs of her abilities, spending most of her time wandering the streets in a random pattern that seemed dictated by the proximity of supermarkets and public parks. Could she be on guard to protect her secret? Her reaction time suggested heightened senses at least, as she suffered no injuries despite being well within the striking range of the attack. Perhaps she already knew he was following her, and was testing his worthiness to be her disciple?

He couldn't blame her if she was. The monster had nearly beaten him completely, yet Saitama killed it without any visible effort at all. It spoke volumes about her power, and the difference between her and himself. And where it came from… could she be a cyborg as well, possessing superior augmentations to his own? Even if that was not the case, he needed to find out more.

Across the plaza, Saitama – who had spent the last fifty-three minutes sitting on a bench under a tree, drinking a common brand of bottled water – got to her feet and stretched, turning in the general direction of her apartment. Based on his behavioral analysis, she was about to being her trip home, once again following an erratic path that seemed purposefully designed to burn as much daylight as possible. It also vaguely struck Genos as the actions someone might attempt when trying to shake a tail, but if so it was a futile effort. Even if she did manage to lose him, he could still locate her at her apartment in the end.

Genos waited two minutes, enough time for Saitama to get a good head start while still allowing him to observe her from a distance, then began to follow. As he rounded another corner though, taking care to mark the turn in a map he kept of her movements, Genos sighed. Things could not continue like this. He did not have time to waste playing cat and mouse when the cyborg that destroyed his home could still be out there. If nothing came up tonight that gave him significant insight to the source of her strength, he would have to take the risk and approach her directly to learn. He only hoped Saitama would be willing to accept his request once he did.

* * *

If Saitama could have her way, she would not leave her futon at all today. Unfortunately reality and human biology made that desire a technical impossibility, but that did not stop her from doing everything within her considerable power to prolong the inevitable.

It wasn't that she wanted to be lazy. No, in fact she had a steadily growing itch to go out and beat some monster into a fine, bloody mist. And no one being lazy would put as much effort as she had gone through to remain within the safety of her covers. This was her defiance, a response to something that she could otherwise not find a solution for.

It all began a few days back when she left her apartment to go on patrol. It started off faint, as nothing more than the occasional feeling you get when someone happens to be looking at you. At first she dismissed it, after all people stared at her all the time when he trained or fought monsters. So why should she have thought this one to be any different?

But then the feeling returned stronger the next day, and stronger again the day after that… By the fourth day it was painfully obvious to her that someone, somewhere, was watching her every move. Could it be a vengeful monster or thug? An overly enthusiastic fan that had recognized her for past deeds? Any normal monster she could deal with. The method was tried and true: monster causes trouble, she punches monster. Rinse and repeat. And a thug was little different, save for the amount of strength she put into her actions.

But a potential stalker? The very idea of someone spying on her for dubious reasons made her skin crawl all over. How could she even deal with it? Smack them around and tell them to lay off? What if they _liked_ that kind of thing? She couldn't even bring herself to try and track down the culprit until she knew for a fact what they wanted. Instead she went about her daily life as if she hadn't noticed anything. After all, if she did nothing of interest, they would eventually get bored and find someone else to bother, right…?

Only they didn't. If anything her stalker seemed to become even more persistent as the days went on. Last night she could have sworn she saw someone following her out of the corner of her eye, but every time she tried to get a good look at them, there was no one there. If this kept up, would she even be safe in her own apartment? She would have to do something about it soon, but for now she was more than content to remain in the comfort and isolation of her futon's formidable array of blankets and pillows.

Saitama shook her head as she tried to clear it from her mind, then attempted to drown it with the rest of her tea for good measure. She'd heard from somewhere that tea was supposed to be good for relaxing, but so far it had only made her visit the bathroom with annoying frequency instead. "I have _got_ to do something before I lose my mind over this." Snuggling deeper into Fort Futon, Saitama closed her eyes and tried to meditate. She didn't actually know how, but at this rate anything was worth a shot.

"Master!"

Like a cat with dog on its tail, Saitama shot from her futon with an undignified yelp, dragging the blankets with her like a massive cloak. _Could that be…?_ No, she shouldn't assume every visitor was her stalker taking a bold step forward. And the voice, had it said 'master'? It sounded oddly familiar.

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, and fighting the urge to jump off the balcony to safety, Saitama shuffled across the room with her blankets in tow, pulled close to form a protective barrier… until she remembered what she was wearing underneath it. Or more specifically, _not_ wearing. "Just a minute!"

A few minutes later, and dressed in clothing that provided ample protection without looking immediately like she had prepared for a fight, Saitama cracked op the door and found a person she had almost forgotten about. "Oh, it's you…"

The guy from before – what was it, two weeks ago now? – stood outside with a posture she usually saw used to greet someone of great importance. "My apologies, Master. I did not properly introduce myself last time. My name is Genos, Master."

"Don't call me master, it's weird."

"Sensei!"

"Don't call me that, either! My name is Saitama, and if that's too difficult for you, then just call me Sai!" Saitama sighed as she realized why he was probably there. Like him, she had nearly forgotten about his weird request when they'd last met. To think he'd been serious about it as well… this could only mean more trouble. "All right, come on in so we can talk. I've got a bad feeling that this might take a while."

* * *

If there was one detail Saitama had learned about Genos in the last twenty minutes, it was that he did not know when to stop talking. Ever since she asked him what his deal was – last time she would ever ask 'what's your story' without thinking – he had rambled on endlessly. At some point early on she had zoned him out, attempting instead to distract herself by staring at her tea. It wasn't working.

"Okay, _that's enough!_ " Genos stopped instantly, his face frozen in a look of expectation. _Well, at least he listens._ "Cut to the chase already! Tell me what you want, and do it in twenty words or less. Understand?"

Genos sat in silence, his eyes dancing back and forth in apparent consideration of his next words. A minute later, just as Saitama decided to finish off her tea, he spoke. "I wish to become strong, like you. Please teach me the way, Master Saitama."

Caught off guard by the addition of the title, Saitama choked on her tea and was forced to set it down as she struggled with a coughing fit. This was the last thing she needed to deal with right now, especially with… the stalker. Actually, no, that gave her an idea. Maybe this _was_ what she needed. He could keep an eye on her back when she couldn't, and hopefully either draw out or drive away her stalker. If he could do that, then she would be more than happy to teach him what he wanted to know. "Genos?"

"Yes!"

"How old are you?"

"I'm nineteen!"

 _Damn, he's a little younger than I expected._ At the very least she would have placed him at twenty-one. But maybe that would work out in his advantage. "Okay. I will teach you, but it won't be easy. I'm twenty-five now, but I started training when I was twenty-two. At your age, you could surpass me in not time at all. Do you think you can handle it?"

"Yes, Master Saitama!"

Saitama groaned. They would have to work on how he addressed her. Feeling safe enough to take another drink of her tea, she watched as he mirrored her movements almost perfectly, then noticed something. "Weren't you badly injured the last time I saw you? I'm pretty sure you were missing an arm, and that's to say nothing about your legs."

"Most of my body is a machine. So long as I have the parts, I can be repaired."

Saitama arched an eyebrow at that. "Nifty."

"How about you, Master? What—" Genos twitched as if he heard something, and in a flash he was crouched near the door as if waiting. "I'm detecting something approaching at high speed…"

As if on cue, the ceiling above Saitama exploded in a shower of rubble and something green and roughly humanoid landed in her living room. Before it could open its mouth to talk, Saitama's fist met its face, reducing it to a colorful smear on the opposing wall. "Don't wreck my stuff, dammit!"

"Master, there are more outside."

With a foreboding crack of her knuckles, Saitama turned for the porch door. "Not for long…"

* * *

In hindsight, she probably should have given them a warning first, or at least gone a little easier on them until she got her point across. Now, as she stood over the unconscious bodies of two more monsters, she had to wait until one of them came around. _Someone_ was going to pay for the damages, even if she had to beat it out of them.

As she tried to estimate the repair costs, Saitama failed to notice the ground tremble beneath her feet until something grabbed her by the ankle, catching her off guard long enough to pull her under up to her neck. "Oh come on, seriously? I'm going to have dirt in all kinds of places I don't even want to think about right now! Why can't someone just fight me face-to-face for once?"

As if in response, the ground trembled again as a mole creature surfaced a few feet away and stared at her wearily. "We don't want you putting up a fight…"

A deep, booming laugh filled the air at its words, cutting her off before she could ask what the mole meant. From around the corner of the building stepped another monster, this one looking like a humanized lion with a ridiculously muscular body. Saitama almost found it cute, until it began talking. "Well done, Ground Dragon, she can't move at all!" It stopped next to her and crouched down, making an obvious effort to blow in her face. "And they thought we needed to do recon first. What a joke!"

Its words rang in her ears as dots began to connect in her mind. "Recon? You were _watching me?_ "

The cat laughed again, oblivious to her rapidly building anger as it blasted her in the face with its noxious breath. "And what if we were? You're in no position to be acting tough, little girl. So just play along nicely and you won't get hurt… too badly."

Saitama had heard enough. With a firm push she dislodged herself from the earth and took a step back. _Give them a chance first, punch later…_ "I'm going to give you one chance. Apologize now and pay for the damages your _friend_ did to my roof, or else."

"Is that so?" The cat-man stood, his claws extending with a sinister _shink_ as he stepped closer. "Allow me to show you the power of the Beast King!"

She sidestepped the first attack and watched as it sliced through the two monsters from earlier with ease. The monster moved fast, Saitama gave it that. But just because running is faster than walking doesn't mean it's still fast when compared to a car at full speed. Before the Beast King finished a second swipe, Saitama threw a single punch, connected with the beast King's chest, and instantly pulverized his torso. _One down…_ Saitama turned and fixed the mole with a piercing glare. "And you?" The mole ran. _One to go…_

The mole didn't put up a fight. She didn't give it the chance to. Instead she turned her attention to Genos and the monster-robot-thing that had picked a fight with him at some point along the way. Grabbing a chunk of what remained of the Beast King's face, Saitama strolled over to inspect Genos' work and collect some repair fees.

Steam poured from Genos like a sauna as his body cooled, but at least this time he appeared to be in one piece. He stood over his opponent with his hand aimed like a weapon – was that how he fought, using something in his hand? She hadn't really paid much attention before. As she drew close she caught the tail-end of a threat. "…estions or die. You choose." _Aaah, interrogation. Perfect timing then._

Despite the severity of its injuries, the thing – some kind of partially mechanical gorilla Saitama noted – laughed at Genos. It was impressive in its own right, given that Genos had ripped its limbs off in order to cripple it. She had to wonder if he got the idea from her. "It is you who will die, fool. I am the House of Evolution's third strongest. You will never defeat the Beast King, second strongest of us all!"

Saitama grinned internally. Looks like her little souvenir would come in handy after all. "You mean this guy?" She stepped up to Genos and raised her 'trophy'. The gorilla's stunned look said it all.

When Genos spoke, Saitama could hear the grin on his face as well. "I think he does."

"I'm sorry. I'll tell you anything you want to know, just go easy on me."

Saitama nearly did a double take. Just a moment before it had talked like what she would have expected a machine to sound like. Now it sounded normal, like the others. Tossing the chunk of Beast King aside, Saitama leaned closer with her hands on her hips. "What the heck? So you can talk normally now?"

The gorilla shifted awkwardly under her stare, its eyes locked on the discarded piece of the Beast King. "Sorry, I was just trying to act cool…"

"All I care about is why you all are bothering me, and who is going to repair my ceiling. And trust me, I am _not_ in the mood for any crap." Saitama leaned even closer, fixing it – him, if the voice was anything to go by – with a threatening glare as she closed the distance between them. "So make it quick…"

"S-sorry! Our boss is interested in you. He sent us to bring you back."

Saitama shot back, her face contorting into a look of revulsion. "Sorry, but I'm not interested."

"Master," Genos placed a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. "I do not believe that is what he meant. I suspect their boss is interested in your superhuman physiology, much like I am. I have heard rumors of the House of Evolution before, that it's a cult preaching about the coming of a new world. But judging from these beings, I think it's safe to assume they are up to something far more dangerous. We should not allow them to continue their activities unchecked."

"I have one question first." Saitama looked back to the gorilla, who withered under her stare. "Would this boss of yours be able to pay for the damage your friends caused?"

The gorilla nodded fervently, causing it to tilt sideways slightly from the force. "Yes! I'm sure my boss would be happy to talk to you about any damages I… I mean my comrades have caused."

Saitama smiled, a smile clearly not meant to be friendly. "All right then. Genos? Let's go." Genos said something, exactly what she wasn't sure as she was already partway down the block when she heard him call out.

"Wait, you mean _now?_ "

"Of course. There's a sale on tomorrow, and I'm not going to miss it for anything."

* * *

Genos led the way as they progressed deeper into the mountains, guided by his maps and directions provided by Armored Gorilla to what he assured them was the location of the organization's base. Genos wanted to mention to his master that departing without such vital information was a critical error, but the way she'd dealt with Armored Gorilla warned him that she would probably not take to it kindly. Instead he waited until she showed signs of not knowing which way to go next, then took the lead. The fact that it allowed him to be of extra use to her was an added bonus. "I'm surprised you chose to run the whole way," he finally said, broaching another subject that had been in his mind for a while.

"How else would we get there?" It wasn't like she owned a car, and even if she did there was no way she would ever think about driving it out here.

"I thought perhaps you could fly."

"Human's can't fly, Genos!"

"Not normal humans, no. But I assumed you might have other powers as well. If not, it's impressive that you always arrive on time."

Saitama grinned to herself awkwardly. If only he knew. "No, I'm pretty much always late. Heck, there's been times I'm already on the scene and don't even notice until after it's started."

Genos nearly tripped as her words took him off guard. "I see…" He wanted to ask more, but they were approaching the location rapidly. In a matter of moments the building came into view among the trees. Slowing down, Genos pointed it out to her. "We've arrived. This is the House of Evolution."

"Good, I want to deal with them quickly and get this over with." She sounded stressed and angry. Perhaps this was a chance for him to prove himself both in both usefulness and power. As Saitama came to a stop next to him, Genos braced and fired with both hands, blasting the building into rubble.

As the dust settled, Saitama stared in disbelief. _Seriously?_ "Dude, what gives?"

"What? I thought this was the most efficient way to deal with them. I figured you would be pleased."

"Did you forget about my roof? How the heck am I supposed to make their boss fix it if you've gone and blown them all up! I swear, it's like you all keep forgetting what's important here." Saitama continued to grumble as she wandered into the ruins, leaving Genos where he was. She knew he was going to be trouble. But at the same time, at least she shouldn't have to worry about being followed anymore. As she turned to leave, something metal caught her eye. Set into the ground was what appeared to be a heavy trapdoor, buried but otherwise intact. With a firm tug and the screech of bending steel, she peeled it free to uncover a staircase that disappeared underground. "Hello… maybe I'm not out of luck after all. Genos! Check this out, but don't go blasting things until _after_ I've made them pay up."

As they progressed deeper into the tunnels, Saitama had to admit she was beginning to feel excited, although she would never say it out loud. How long had it been since she last crushed an evil organization? This place fit the bill perfectly, and if they could afford this, then there better not be a problem when it came to her roof.

"I'm picking up life-forms ahead…" Without warning Genos snapped to attention, his focus on the path ahead. "Master, two life-forms are headed this way!"

 _Good, looks like I don't need to waste time looking._ The thundering footfalls reached her ears a moment before she saw them: a massive _thing_ was charging towards her and Genos, carrying a human in its hand as it approached.

The big one grinned at the sight of them and said, "Oh, I've found them already! There are two, which one did you want?"

"The… the one on the right…" The human was talking about her… which meant he should be the boss. Saitama smiled. She found her target.

The thing dropped the human as it arrived, and just like the Beast King, moved towards them with superhuman speed. At first Saitama considered dodging, but then changed her mind. She might as well let it hit her just to see what it could do. That is, until she realized it wasn't going for her first. Before Genos could react it slammed him into the wall, burying his head deep into the stonework where it left him hanging. "You gonna be okay, Genos?" she asked, cringing at the sight.

"Forget him! I'm Carnage Kabuto, and I hear you're supposed to be _strong_. So what do you say? How about a fight to see who's strongest?"

Saitama eyed Kabuto up and down. He reminded her a lot of the creepy beetles that the kids in her class would collect. _Gross_. "You know what? I've been having a _really_ bad week, and could go for blowing off some stress. You're on!"

* * *

"Big, ain't it? It's the biggest area in the facility. This is where we battle to see who's strongest!" Carnage Kabuto turned in a slow circle with his arms raised, showing off the room as Saitama found a place roughly across from him. "Now, let the battle begin…" On cue a blast struck Kabuto from the side, bathing him in flames. Standing in the door where they had entered, Genos was braced against the frame, his hand still smoking from the attack.

Genos couldn't let this stand. For the second time he had been taken by surprised in front of his master. If this kept up she might denounce him as her disciple. Gathering his power, Genos launched from from the door and closed the gap between him and Kabuto, pressing on with a series of heavy blows. He had to keep on it before—

Kabuto's blow landed hard on Genos' back, driving him into the floor with enough force to shatter tiles and leave cracks in his face. Not giving him the chance to stand, Kabuto struck again, kicking him across the room and into Saitama like a ragdoll. _Dammit, not again!_

Pushing off, Genos raised his hand to fire until Saitama grabbed it and forced it down. "Enough, Genos. This is supposed to be _my_ fight. You're not taking this from me. Not now."

He began to argue until she forced him to make eye contact. That same look again, the one that made him nervous for reasons he didn't understand. "Yes, my apologies, Master."

"Good. Now stand clear so I don't have to worry about you getting in the way."

"Oh, what's this? Finally decided to fight me, huh?" Kabuto grinned as she moved closer. "Bring it on! Gimmie all you got!"

Saitama waited, listening to the sound of Genos backing off until she was satisfied with the distance. Finally she turned her full attention to Carnage Kabuto. "So you're supposed to be strong, right? I can see it in the way you act. You're positively dripping with confidence." Saitama grinned. "Don't disappoint me."

Genos nearly didn't see Kabuto move. In an instant he was behind Saitama, fist raised to deliver what was sure to be a devastating blow… and then retreated. Had he senses something? Saitama turned to face Kabuto, her face a cross between confusion and disappointment. "Hey, what's the matter? Are you coming at me or not?"

"How…" Kabuto's voice actually trembled in fear, "How did you get such power?"

"Oh… so you want to know about it to, huh? All right then." Genos couldn't believe his ears. Was she really about to give away her secret to the enemy? "Genos, you listen up too." _Master, no!_ "What matters most is that you keep up with the training routine no matter what!

"It took me three years to obtain this strength. I would do one hundred push-ups, one hundred sit-ups, one hundred squats, and run ten kilometers every day! Also, make sure you eat properly, even if it's just fruit for breakfast. To train your spirit, never use the heat in winter, or air-conditioning in the summer. It'll feel like it's killing you at first, and you'll want to take a day off, but I wanted to be a strong hero, so I persevered every day, even if I vomited blood.

"Even when it hurt so badly that I could barely move, I pressed on. And one year later, I noticed a change: I had gotten… smaller. And I was stronger."

Saitama remained silent for a moment, studying her fist. "In other words, human strength lies in the ability to change _yourself._ "

"You're so full of crap!" The words spilled from Genos' mouth before he could stop himself, but he couldn't take any more. "That's just regular strength training! It's not even that hard! I must become stronger; I didn't ask to become your disciple to hear jokes! Your strength is clearly more than just physical training alone. I want to know what it is!"

"Genos…" Saitama shook her head sadly, "Say what you will, but there _isn't_ anything else."

"Oh I see how it is…" Carnage Kabuto shook with anger, his body bulging and writhing grotesquely with noise as if something crawled beneath the surface of his shell-like skin. "You don't want to tell us your secret. Fine, do what you wish! Now I see that you're not stronger than me anyway. You're going to pay for making me look like a fool!" His body changed with a violent burst, threatening to turn Saitama's stomach. It would take her forever to get _that_ out of her memory. "Feast your eyes on this, my Carnage Mode! When I'm like this I stay at peak power for an entire week! After I kill you, I'll head into town and rampage clear until next Saturday. If you're such a strong hero, let's just see you try and stop me!"

 _What?_ The world faded into a blur of sound and movement as Kabuto's words sunk in. He said he would go until next week, until next _Saturday_. Could he mean…? No wait, that little shop she liked to visit, it was closed yesterday. And it was normally closed from Friday through Sunday…

Saitama hit the ground near Genos, and for a brief moment saw her surroundings clearly. _Genos…_ "Genos!" Something appeared in her way. She didn't have time for it. She slapped it aside, the blunt force shredding Carnage Kabuto's body like a fly under a flyswatter. "Genos, what day is it?"

"Master…"

" _Now,_ Genos!"

"Saturday, Master!"

"Argh! Dammit, dammit, dammit! I've been so distracted this last week I lost track of the days! _You!_ " Saitama turned on the man from before. She'd seen him trying to sneak in while Genos took a crack at Kabuto. "You're flunkies trashed my ceiling! If you don't want me kicking your ass six ways to _next_ Saturday, you better pay to get it fixed, ASAP!"

The man stammered, backing away until he hit a wall and couldn't go any further. "Yes, of course."

"Also, if I _ever_ catch you following me again, there is no force on this planet that will save you from my wrath. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Good. Genos!" Genos jumped to attention, intent on _not_ being the one to get in her way next. "We've got to go _now_. If we hurry, we might just make it in time." She didn't have time for doors and halls. Saitama ran to the nearest wall instead and punched, knocking a hole clean through the wall and exposing what looked like the outside of a mountainside. "Good, I wouldn't have been happy if I had to dig to get out of here."

* * *

Standing in what remained of the testing arena, Doctor Genus watched as the two disappeared into the distance, leaving him behind in the ruins of his life's work. Once _she_ was out of sight, he collapsed against the wall and slid to the floor. _I'm done with all this._ He didn't know where he would go from here, but he knew one thing: he needed to find a good contractor _fast_ …


End file.
